I’ve been In Tempe Arizona for almost a week now helping my friend Linda recuperate from her surgery and assisting with her husband Randy who was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia several years ago.  Watching Linda relate to Randy is such a joy as she has found an entertaining childlike way of refocusing his obsessive behaviors with special names they call each other, goofy sayings they have come up with and the infamous nose to nose Eskimo kisses to show their love and appreciation for each other.

Though Randy’s “memory” of things like music and people from his past is still largely in tact, he is now losing control of his bodily functions, his social skills and his ability to empathize or consider others. These things are fading into a thing of the past. When Linda was in the hospital we anticipated that he would be anxious about where she was but he didn’t even seem to realize she wasn’t there. Perhaps it was just God’s way of helping Linda be more at ease that Randy will do OK without her whether it is with us or eventually in the inevitable home he will reside for the end of his days

Randy spends much of his day walking back and forth from his room to the kitchen and to the living room where he finds the remote and flips aimlessly from channel to channel.  Linda let us know that he had no attention span and that at his daycare they were hoping to get him to focus for at least ten minutes but so far it is to no avail.

Each new day I am here I am more amazed at the many things that are happening that we thought were gone forever.  First it was Randy picking up the guitar, (something he had not done in years) and playing for nearly 45 minutes. Now he does it every day, without provocation, even when no one is in the room. It may only be a for a minute but he is playing, writing and enjoying it.

This morning he walked up to me and got right in my face and said “It’s good to see you!” I smiled and gave him a hug and returned the sentiment and then he moved closer to give me an Eskimo kiss. I laughed and then he just leaned his forehead on to mine and just stood there for a long time smiling and looking at me.  A while later he did it all again!

Tonight as my husband Ralph and later Linda had retired to bed, I made Randy and I some nachos before getting him ready for bed. I went to his room and set up the music that he listens to which of course is his own CD’s. He draws my attention to how he rolls his blanket and then pulls it up over his legs and then proudly demonstrates how his feet move under the blanket as though it is a miracle event.

I sang along with of his song, the 23rd psalm from his album “Thirsty” as he drifted off to sleep and then I left quietly in tears as I remembered this man that once ministered to thousands of people, pastored a church, parented his children and led my husband to Christ ensuring that he was clear on what it takes to make a marriage work and why following Christ in the waters of baptism was the right thing to do to be a witness for Christ.

He was the kind of man who would surely have been the one at the hospital with his wife when she had her surgery this week and he would have been the one sitting on her bed as she cries in pain wondering when the medication will give her some relief. Unfortunately,  he can’t do that any more. Not because he doesn’t want to, or wont, but it just does not occur to him. He is literally losing his mind.

We all grieve the loss of who he was but the essence of Randy still exists. He still has moments of tenderness, and memories of those of us who have known and loved him. He is ALWAYS grateful for anything and everything you do for him and he still laughs at Linda’s jokes and gives her hugs and Eskimo kisses whenever she asks.

Tonight Randy sat with me for over a half hour and watched television. He didn’t get up and walk around. He didn’t ask for the remote. He just sat here and it was magical. It was, I fear, one of the last times I will ever have the chance to just be with him like this, but it has given me what I needed today….a glimpse of the man I met 40 years ago and have been blessed by from the first day I met him until today.

The Faucet Randy made before FTD

Randy is still what I consider to be an anointed; a term used to refer to the power of God at work to change lives and bring men closer to God by his miracles.  He is still being a “Faucet of HOPE” to the world…a Clay Vessel as his song says and he is doing exactly what God asks of all of us….to be the best we can be in spite of our circumstances and to love others with all we have…no matter how feeble it may seem.

THANK YOU RANDY FOR BEING MY FAUCET OF HOPE TODAY! 

LISTEN TO RANDYS VERSION OF THE 23rd PSALM below and then click the link to order his music and support his legacy of HOPE!

 ORDER RANDY’s MUSIC HERE

ORDER THIS SONG FROM THE ALBUM “THIRSTY”