These are tumultuous times. A global pandemic, racial unrest in America, massive unemployment, stay at home orders are all anxiety provoking in and of themselves. When you put them all together at once you have a cocktail of insanity that has enveloped our country and is holding us hostage to a sense of learned helplessness that will indeed crush us all if we let it. But what can we do about it?
Being out of control is something we all fight against. It is human nature. It is even a good thing to want to make sure we will be safe and fed and clothed and sheltered. We are created to be protective of ourselves and others but at what cost? And by what methodology? Do we always need to use intimidation and violence to get what we want? Is what we want actually what we need? There is a big difference and we, at least in America, have come to be pretty spoiled when it comes to having enough STUFF.
So let’s sort this through. What exactly is the stress and fear coming from? What is it that you can’t control and why do you need to?
-
THE PANDEMIC- We can’t control that it is out there but we can control how much we expose ourselves to those who may potentially carry it. We can also help protect others by doing our part in wearing masks and self-distancing.
-
RACIAL AND POLITICAL UNREST- What is happening in the United States is mind boggling. Police murdering an innocent man in front of tons of cameras without flinching or showing one ounce of concern. Ex-police officers and others gunning down a man because they thought he might be stealing something somewhere. People responding to these travesties by looting and violence. We do not have control of the past but we can shape the future by our action or our inaction. Getting involved matters. It helps as long as it is done peacefully. Viewing it as someone else’s problem is a problem. We are all in this together and as it was once said, it takes the whole village to raise a child. We still seem to have a lot of little adult children bullying others, blowing stuff up, taking other people’s toys and stuff, shooting off at the mouth and demanding to be the center of attention. Childish things. It is indeed frustrating and scary when the ones charged to protect and serve and lead and guide us are behaving in ways that make it clear that they don’t care about anyone but themselves. We can keep pushing along though and we must never give up fighting the fight for what is right. Doing it together is better.
-
UNEMPLOYMENT- Life as we knew it is over but it will get better. Trust me….it will. Just hang on. Be creative. Don’t give up. Hang on to your dream and reach out for help. I am here for you and I know there are many others. This chapter can rewrite your life in a beautiful way, you just need to get through it. If you don’t know where to go or where to start, I’m serious, sign up for one of my free strategy sessions and let me help you get started. www.lindalarsonschlitz.com/why-coaching
-
STAY AT HOME ORDERS, WEARING MASKS UGH!- We all want to know when we can get back normal. Sorry folks, it will never be like it was and that’s a good thing. We were agast at how many died from influenza every year in part because people didn’t get vaccinated and they didn’t stay home when they were sick. At least we learned that social distancing works VERY well to prevent the spread of the regular flu because those numbers are way down. I can’t imagine how it is for these young families and the teens and even college kids and businesses who had all these plans and dreams for their future but everything is cancelled and they are stuck at home. How do you change that? Unfortunately thee is no one simple answer and quick fix.
All of these challenges have one thing in common….it is what we think it is.
If we think we are being disrespected we will likely feel hurt, sad and angry
If we think we are helpless we will feel afraid, hopeless, depressed, desperate
If we think it will never get better we will feel anxious, scared, frustrated, depressed or destitute
And so it goes. Our negative thoughts lead us to negative feelings which then lead to our chosen behavior because we just aren’t comfortable when things don’t go our way. We do what we do because we feel what we feel.
So what are people doing in response to this entourage of negative events, negative thoughts and negative feelings in response to those thoughts? We all have patterns of behavior. This is the mess we are dealing with now. People have learned negative ways of coping that may have worked well when we were children or when we were trying to survive a dangerous or scary time in the past but they are not serving them or anyone else well in our world today.
-
-
WITHDRAWAL- Some people simple withdraw from life. They shut down and keep everyone at a distance. Can be positive when you are in the middle of a pandemic and need to socially distance but if not, it can be detrimental to everyone
-
SUBSTANCE ABUSE or OTHER ADDICTIONS – Using substances, gambling, sex, food or spending can all be ways that people escape from life to avoid their feelings. None of these means are effective in the long term and inevitably exacerbate the problem.
-
ANGER & INTIMIDATION- When people can’t get things going their way on their own and they think someone is in the way they may use intimidation and threatening behavior to manipulate people to give in to their demands. Name calling, body posturing, shaming are just a few of the ways that people try to use
-
VIOLENCE- The ultimate escape is to act out violently toward others or even toward oneself to eliminate the feelings that are too uncomfortable to deal with.
-
WHAT WE NEED TO USE
-
HONESTY- It isn’t always easy to be honest especially when we have to face ourselves before other people. We have to look at what we are really afraid of and reconfigure our thought patterns. That includes positive self talk on what the future holds including dealing optimistically with the reaction others might have to our honesty. We must also use positive ways to express our honesty. We don’t need to be rude, controlling, hurtful or mean to be honest. We can agree to disagree with others. It’s OK. But being honest at least with ourselves is crucial. Sometimes telling all isn’t necessary or wise. God will direct us on which way to go if we ask.
-
HEALTHY HABITS- Deciding to do things that will help us to feel better just doesn’t seem to be human nature because we are raised in a quick fix feel good society and somewhere along the line it was discovered that people can make more money selling things that gave people a high but wasn’t necessarily good for them. We know that overeating, eating the wrong foods like sugar and food high in the “wrong” ingredients will have negative consequences. Sitting around watching television or gaming and eating chips isn’t going to help us feel and think better. Obsessing with the negative isn’t going to help but meditation on the positives in life will help. Attitude of gratitude is key.
-
KINDNESS AND LOVE- We see hatred, looting, hurtful words, violence and death. It is all about selfishness. People wanting to do their own thing and make themselves God. We can only show kindness and love when we consider others as irreplaceable assets created by God for a purpose. It is hard at times when we see people being so hate is a learned behavior. We aren’t born being abusive. We are taught by our society to be cruel and selfish. If we all lived by the golden rule and would do to others what we want them to do to us it would be a peaceful world.
-
HOPE- It is God’s plan for us to receive, maintain and then give HOPE to others. We all need Help Opportunity Praise Encouragement and the results of peace and hope for the future will follow. Sometimes we need to give ourselves HOPE by changing our thinking and our self talk. Giving up is all about losing HOPE that tomorrow or net week or next month will be better. “Better” is actually a matter of perspective. If we choose to look at all we have in life we can see that God has indeed sustained us. Expectations are pre-meditated resentments so if we have lost HOPE over something we couldn’t control perhaps we just need to go back and rethink whether or not God did actually sustain us or if it is our perception that He didn’t do it good enough.
I would like to help you with your HOPE challenge. I specialize in helping people see the bright side in the overshadowing storm of life. Please reach out and let me help you. You can take my 6 Steps to peace which are worksheets and videos that take you through the steps to understanding God’s purpose for you amidst these challenging times. I would also love to hear from you and set up a time we could talk. Please sign up for my workshop and if you have already completed it be sure to set up a time we could chat.
May God bless you today and give you HOPE!
Linda Larson Schlitz
These are tumultuous times. A global pandemic, racial unrest in America, massive unemployment, stay at home orders are all anxiety provoking in and of themselves. When you put them all together at once you have a cocktail of insanity that has enveloped our country and is holding us hostage to a sense of learned helplessness that will indeed crush us all if we let it. But what can we do about it?
Being out of control is something we all fight against. It is human nature. It is even a good thing to want to make sure we will be safe and fed and clothed and sheltered. We are created to be protective of ourselves and others but at what cost? And by what methodology? Do we always need to use intimidation and violence to get what we want? Is what we want actually what we need? There is a big difference and we, at least in America, have come to be pretty spoiled when it comes to having enough STUFF.
So let’s sort this through. What exactly is the stress and fear coming from? What is it that you can’t control and why do you need to?
-
THE PANDEMIC- We can’t control that it is out there but we can control how much we expose ourselves to those who may potentially carry it. We can also help protect others by doing our part in wearing masks and self-distancing.
-
RACIAL AND POLITICAL UNREST- What is happening in the United States is mind boggling. Police murdering an innocent man in front of tons of cameras without flinching or showing one ounce of concern. Ex-police officers and others gunning down a man because they thought he might be stealing something somewhere. People responding to these travesties by looting and violence. We do not have control of the past but we can shape the future by our action or our inaction. Getting involved matters. It helps as long as it is done peacefully. Viewing it as someone else’s problem is a problem. We are all in this together and as it was once said, it takes the whole village to raise a child. We still seem to have a lot of little adult children bullying others, blowing stuff up, taking other people’s toys and stuff, shooting off at the mouth and demanding to be the center of attention. Childish things. It is indeed frustrating and scary when the ones charged to protect and serve and lead and guide us are behaving in ways that make it clear that they don’t care about anyone but themselves. We can keep pushing along though and we must never give up fighting the fight for what is right. Doing it together is better.
-
UNEMPLOYMENT- Life as we knew it is over but it will get better. Trust me….it will. Just hang on. Be creative. Don’t give up. Hang on to your dream and reach out for help. I am here for you and I know there are many others. This chapter can rewrite your life in a beautiful way, you just need to get through it. If you don’t know where to go or where to start, I’m serious, sign up for one of my free strategy sessions and let me help you get started. www.lindalarsonschlitz.com/why-coaching
-
STAY AT HOME ORDERS, WEARING MASKS UGH!- We all want to know when we can get back normal. Sorry folks, it will never be like it was and that’s a good thing. We were agast at how many died from influenza every year in part because people didn’t get vaccinated and they didn’t stay home when they were sick. At least we learned that social distancing works VERY well to prevent the spread of the regular flu because those numbers are way down. I can’t imagine how it is for these young families and the teens and even college kids and businesses who had all these plans and dreams for their future but everything is cancelled and they are stuck at home. How do you change that? Unfortunately thee is no one simple answer and quick fix.
All of these challenges have one thing in common….it is what we think it is.
If we think we are being disrespected we will likely feel hurt, sad and angry
If we think we are helpless we will feel afraid, hopeless, depressed, desperate
If we think it will never get better we will feel anxious, scared, frustrated, depressed or destitute
And so it goes. Our negative thoughts lead us to negative feelings which then lead to our chosen behavior because we just aren’t comfortable when things don’t go our way. We do what we do because we feel what we feel.
So what are people doing in response to this entourage of negative events, negative thoughts and negative feelings in response to those thoughts? We all have patterns of behavior. This is the mess we are dealing with now. People have learned negative ways of coping that may have worked well when we were children or when we were trying to survive a dangerous or scary time in the past but they are not serving them or anyone else well in our world today.
-
-
WITHDRAWAL- Some people simple withdraw from life. They shut down and keep everyone at a distance. Can be positive when you are in the middle of a pandemic and need to socially distance but if not, it can be detrimental to everyone
-
SUBSTANCE ABUSE or OTHER ADDICTIONS – Using substances, gambling, sex, food or spending can all be ways that people escape from life to avoid their feelings. None of these means are effective in the long term and inevitably exacerbate the problem.
-
ANGER & INTIMIDATION- When people can’t get things going their way on their own and they think someone is in the way they may use intimidation and threatening behavior to manipulate people to give in to their demands. Name calling, body posturing, shaming are just a few of the ways that people try to use
-
VIOLENCE- The ultimate escape is to act out violently toward others or even toward oneself to eliminate the feelings that are too uncomfortable to deal with.
-
-
WHAT WE NEED TO USE
-
HONESTY- It isn’t always easy to be honest especially when we have to face ourselves before other people. We have to look at what we are really afraid of and reconfigure our thought patterns. That includes positive self talk on what the future holds including dealing optimistically with the reaction others might have to our honesty. We must also use positive ways to express our honesty. We don’t need to be rude, controlling, hurtful or mean to be honest. We can agree to disagree with others. It’s OK. But being honest at least with ourselves is crucial. Sometimes telling all isn’t necessary or wise. God will direct us on which way to go if we ask.
-
HEALTHY HABITS- Deciding to do things that will help us to feel better just doesn’t seem to be human nature because we are raised in a quick fix feel good society and somewhere along the line it was discovered that people can make more money selling things that gave people a high but wasn’t necessarily good for them. We know that overeating, eating the wrong foods like sugar and food high in the “wrong” ingredients will have negative consequences. Sitting around watching television or gaming and eating chips isn’t going to help us feel and think better. Obsessing with the negative isn’t going to help but meditation on the positives in life will help. Attitude of gratitude is key.
-
KINDNESS AND LOVE- We see hatred, looting, hurtful words, violence and death. It is all about selfishness. People wanting to do their own thing and make themselves God. We can only show kindness and love when we consider others as irreplaceable assets created by God for a purpose. It is hard at times when we see people being so hate is a learned behavior. We aren’t born being abusive. We are taught by our society to be cruel and selfish. If we all lived by the golden rule and would do to others what we want them to do to us it would be a peaceful world.
-
HOPE- It is God’s plan for us to receive, maintain and then give HOPE to others. We all need Help Opportunity Praise Encouragement and the results of peace and hope for the future will follow. Sometimes we need to give ourselves HOPE by changing our thinking and our self talk. Giving up is all about losing HOPE that tomorrow or net week or next month will be better. “Better” is actually a matter of perspective. If we choose to look at all we have in life we can see that God has indeed sustained us. Expectations are pre-meditated resentments so if we have lost HOPE over something we couldn’t control perhaps we just need to go back and rethink whether or not God did actually sustain us or if it is our perception that He didn’t do it good enough.
-
