by Linda Larson Schlitz
Tragedy struck too close to home when the school my daughter attended in the town of Antigo, Wisconsin became the victim of another school shooting where 2 were injured and the shooter was killed. These events leave painful questions and traumatic memories for the whole community and the families involved. There is always speculation as to how these things can happen and what can be done to prevent them but unfortunately, the solutions are complicated and without systemic change, the horror of this event and so many other kinds of tragedies like drug overdoses, suicide, and abuse, will continue.
As a counselor for the last 30 years that has specialized in working with the chronically mentally ill and chemically dependent, I have seen that many of them have acted out and often been involved in criminal activities for harming themselves or others in a variety of ways. What I have observed is that there is a pattern that seems to run through their lives and I believe we can effectively minimize and often prevent these horrors from happening again if we are willing to look at how we have created this environment and will begin to make the needed changes.
In an Associated Press article on February 2nd, 2014 called Despite Increased Security, School Shootings Continue, Bill Bond, a Principal at Heath High School in West Paducah, Kentucky, was interviewed. He was reflecting on the 1997 shooting by a 14-year-old boy at his school that shot into a prayer group that left three girls dead and five others injured. Bond stated that he saw the same kind of pattern that I have seen when he was quoted saying…“the shooters are males confronting hopelessness. You see troubled young men who are desperate and they strike out and they don’t see that they have any hope.”
Steven Said, a musician, writer, and activist put this same problem into a powerful nutshell in his October 9th, 2015 blog that was published in the Huffington Post called The Cause of School Shootings-We’re Missing the Mark. when he stated “By failing to engage our youth in honest conversation about their world as they see it, we sentence the most sensitive, already neglected, but often most gifted, inquisitive of our youth, to despair. If we continue this denial, we will have more of these children pushed to the point of breaking, regardless of gun control.”
Both of these men are talking about HOPE which is my acronym for the process of offering Help Opportunity Praise and Encouragement to help others discover their purpose in life and gain the support they need to make that dream an income-generating reality in their lives.
Without a sense of purpose and value, we all lose hope. I am sure at some point we have all experienced it, if only for a short period of time. Whether it was feeling like a failure at school, losing a job, being unable to get a job, the ending of a relationship or having a terminal illness, the loss of what we valued and found purpose in, was taken from us and we were helpless, or at least believed we were, to do anything to change it. This, for a growing number of people, has led to substance abuse, homelessness, suicide, violence and yes, even mass murder.
Until we begin to understand that each individual has been created for a purpose, to do a specific task at a particular time by using their talents, abilities, skills, and experiences to help others in the world, we will continue to perpetuate the sense of hopelessness leading to these tragedies.
We have created social norms that naturally devalue people by developing criteria, tests, and measurements that label people. We cram them into a proverbial box that forces them to achieve a standard that the majority of us will never reach in every single area that people are measured in. Being in the “normal range” is no longer good enough to get into college, get a job or even get funding for social service agencies, treatment centers or homeless programs that could provide the very services that could remedy these problems.
Even teachers are “judged” by a student’s performance, which can never be controlled and only puts more pressure on everyone especially when the very governmental funding agencies that hold the purse strings have eliminated the very resources needed to help these troubled children, parents and even workers get well.
Our system is broken and until we accept a new paradigm for change which will do away with “normal” we will continue to fail in altering the deterioration of our nation. We must be willing to make a conscious effort to find the intrinsic value of every human being and teach the rest of the world to value those unique abilities that no one else ever has or ever will be able to offer in the same manner, at the same time, in the same way.
Until we as adults quit labeling others and perpetuating the stigma that those who are different must endure we will never stop the hurt, anger, rage, and subsequent reactions that those we have defined as “below average” “disabled” “mentally ill” “abnormal” “offenders” “minorities” “failures” and so many other labels, are forced to deal with.
Whether it is the culture of a school, a business, a community or a nation, offering people HOPE by valuing them and helping them to live their “soul purpose” is imperative to stopping the violence and other costly reactions to the pain that we cause them. It is up to each of us to foster change and invest in the tools needed to make it happen.
To learn how to be a positive influence in providing HOPE to others you can go to www.lindalarsonschlitz.com to get more information on my coaching, consulting and speaking services.
Linda Larson Schlitz is a master’s level counselor & social worker and an award-winning and highly acclaimed counselor, author, speaker and corporate trainer with over 30 years of experience. Her mission is to be a “Faucet of HOPE to others to help them discover their purpose, live their passion and generate the income that they need to have a profitable and productive life filled with hope for the future. Linda is the Owner of Faucet of HOPE Ministries. Linda resides in Wausau, Wisconsin with her husband Ralph.