In recent years, the “Mommy Wine Culture” has woven itself into the fabric of American society. This trend, characterized by memes and merchandise touting phrases like “Mommy needs a drinky,” “Mommy juice” and “My kids whine so mommy wines” paints a humorous yet troubling picture of modern stress management.
I just ran across an Etsy search page for Mommy Culture and found several artists that did etched glasses and other items. The glass said “Mom’s reasons to wine” followed by the list of the names of her children. On another page was a baby body suit that said “Mommy drinks because I cry.”
The rise of this culture has not only been prevalent among younger mothers but is also becoming increasingly noticeable in the older generation, leading to the emergence of a “Grandma Wine Culture” which brings with it the chance of more deadly consequences.
THE REALITY BEHIND THE HUMOR
While these phrases may seem light-hearted to some, the normalization of daily alcohol consumption as a coping mechanism can lead to severe consequences, particularly as it becomes a celebrated aspect of motherhood and aging. This culture suggests that alcohol is an acceptable, even necessary, method to manage life’s pressures, from parenting to dealing with personal and professional challenges.
Our social norms have shifted to the point where mainstream media outlets have published articles encouraging drinking as a festive way to celebrate occasions like Mother’s Day, yet these portrayals often ignore the darker side of alcohol consumption.
For example, The Los Angeles Times Magazine’s article The 10 Best Ways to Get Drunk With Your Mom on Mother’s Daystarted out with “Let’s face it, Mom is always more fun after she’s had a few. She doesn’t bug you about stuff like, oh, why you’re not married or haven’t given her grandchildren yet. Instead, she giggles. A lot.”
Clearly, the author of this article does not have a mother whose alcohol-saturated brain morphs into an angry, violent, hateful stranger who doesn’t remember what she has done and wonders why you had to call the police.
After 35 years of counseling kids and parents, I can’t begin to count how many stories I have heard where a glass of wine with dinner ended up in traumatic experiences and memories.
Here are two of the many heartwrenching depictions of trauma that I have from kids who were at a loss on what to do about the influence alcohol was having on them and their families. One child draws a picture of mom crying with a bottle in front of her and dad yelling. Another draw
s a picture of himself and writes “I’m hiding in the woods but nobody even noticed I was gone.
Why do these things happen? Because of one glass of wine? The fact is, alcohol changes your brain chemistry and once it is ingested, to some extent, you may lose the ability to make rational decisions. Before you know it, the sirens are blaring, the kids are crying and bad things have happened. We must first understand what is going on in the brain and body and be mindful of how much alcohol is being consumed.
HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH ALCOHOL?
I frequently hear my clients say “Well I only have one or two drinks so I have it under control.” The marketing out there promotes “girly drinks” as though they are lightweight and healthy, but when you look at how much alcohol goes into one of those drinks it is clearly a misrepresentation of health.
In 2015 the New York Post printed an article that was called “Getting Your Mom Drunk Was the Hot Mother’s Day Gift This Year.”It wasn’t enough to list some fun places you could take your mom but it added the need to get her drunk while you are there and just how to do it.
One of the “girly drinks” included a standard size of a Margarita, which is 12oz in the U.S. and has about 5oz of alcohol which according to the CDC Guidelinesis almost 3-4 times more than a woman should be drinking in a day. Having just two of the standard Margarita’s in a week will put you in the “heavy alcohol user” category! Yes I said two in a WEEK, not every night. Most bars serve 16 oz and 32 oz Margarita!
If you wonder what “one drink” is according to the CDC check out the chart. (See more information at The Basics on How Much is Too Much- NIAAA)
In a 2020 study report by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) called “Alcohol-Related Deaths Increasing in the United Statesit is reported that “As with increases in alcohol consumption and related medical emergencies, rates of death involving alcohol increased more for women (85%) than men (35%) over the study period, (1999-2017), further narrowing once large differences in alcohol use and harms between males and females.”
In another study of alcohol and suicide, researchers found that “the proportion of suicides involving a BAC greater than or equal to 0.08 g/dL significantly increased each year for women of all age groups. The greatest increase was among women over age 65. The researchers say these findings suggest that alcohol use may have been a core driver in the accelerated increase in suicide among U.S. women.” Read the article HERE
What are some of the reasons why older women are drinking more and dying from alcohol and suicide?
- Life Transitions: Major life changes, such as the death of a spouse or other loved one, moving to a new home, or failing health, can cause loneliness, boredom, anxiety, or depression. Unfortunately, some individuals turn to alcohol as a coping mechanism during challenging times leading to harmful reliance on alcohol later in life.
- Physiological Changes: The way our bodies handle alcohol changes as we age. Some older people feel the effects of alcohol more strongly without increasing the amount they drink. This heightened sensitivity can lead to accidents such as falls, fractures, and car crashes. Additionally, older women tend to be more sensitive than men to the effects of alcohol. Read More Here
- Metabolism Differences: Women have lower concentrations of the enzyme called alcohol dehydrogenase, which helps break down and metabolize alcohol. As a result, women tend to have more of the toxic substance in their systems for longer, making them more susceptible to alcohol-related complications. This enzyme deficiency can contribute to liver damage and other health issues. Read More Here.
- Health Risks: Older individuals, including women, have an increased sensitivity to alcohol. This heightened sensitivity raises their risk for various health problems including injuries, dehydration, memory issues, liver disease, sleep disturbances and overall mortality. Read More Here.
FROM PERSONAL STRUGGLE TO PUBLIC ADVOCACY
I started my recovery journey 48 years ago and I have witnessed firsthand the devastation that alcohol dependency can bring, not just to the individual who is drinking, but also to their families and communities. My own journey through addiction, relapse and recovery has shown me the profound impact that alcohol can have on one’s life and the lives of those around them.
During a vulnerable time, the casual endorsement of alcohol as a solution to life’s stresses led me down a path that nearly cost me my professional credentials and personal well-being. However, through recovery, I have found a renewed purpose in helping others find joy and fulfillment in sobriety.
A CALL FOR MINDFUL SOBRIETY
It’s time for a culture shift towards mindful sobriety, especially among women and older adults who are increasingly at risk. This doesn’t mean simply abstaining from alcohol; it involves embracing a lifestyle that fosters mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. Mindful sobriety is about reprogramming how we think about relaxation, celebration, and coping with stress. It’s about building a life where joy comes not from a bottle but from understanding your purpose on this earth and making a difference in the world by being the irreplaceable asset that you are to the world.
We are all uniquely crafted to do what no one who came before us or who will come after us can do. Understanding the crucial nature of our purpose on earth is imperative to finding the reason to be the very best we can be.
If you are a woman who may be at least curious about sobriety, or you know a woman who may be open to it, please join our FREE5-Day Mindful Sobriety Challenge. Here you begin the journey where you can overcome the pressures of the world and gain the mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical wellness you have been seeking. You can meet other women and reprogram your brain to want to be sober and to love how it feels. It doesn’t have to be a horrible challenge. It can be an exciting journey. If you need more than 5 days, we have a 12-week course and a 1-year program as well. Just sign up for the challenge and get more information.
MORE RESOURCES
The New York Times One in 10 Older Adults Binge Drink, Study Says:
The Huberman Lab Podcast What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain, and Health
American Addiction Centers Alcoholism Treatment for the Elderly
Web MD- Understanding Alcohol’s Negative Effects on Your Body and Brain as You Get Older
NBC NEWS- Why More Women in the U.S. Are Drinking Themselves To Death
My Kind of Sweet- The Troubling Rise of Grandma Wine Culture by My Kind of Sweet
ABOUT THE AUTHOR- Linda Larson Schlitz, MS has been a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin for over 30 years. She is an international best-selling author and award-winning speaker, corporate trainer, and life coach. She is the owner of Purpose Driven Recovery Academy and has been recognized by her community with the Athena Leadership Award, the Red Cross Hometown Hero of the Year Award and previous Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker states she “serves as an excellent role model for others to follow”
